Two Parfaits and a Lemonade
by Tardis Blue Assassin
Summary: When James loses at a poker bet with the gang, things seem to take the turn for the worst, or do they? Implied Kame, Jogan, Cames. A SERIES OF CHAPTER DRABBLES, PURE LAUGHTER. I don't own BTR, If i did we'd be getting more of this kind of thing.
1. Chapter 1

He had lost the bet, god he knew he couldn't play poker, but still this was humiliating. The worst part was that He had lost to Carlo; of all the people to lose poker to it was that joke of a guy. James sighed as he walked out of the apartment bathroom. There was a few dog whistles and he blushed. Kendall, Logan and Carlos sat with their feet propped on the coffee table watching him.

His hand went to smooth his hair but he forgot it was plastered down under a maid cap. He fidgeted nervously trying to pull down the maid dress skirt that was barely past his thighs. _This is to damn much. If I wasn't girl enough now I don't have any hair on my legs to speak of. _ Which was true, he had somehow been cohered into stripping his legs of what hair he had managed to maintain. Now he stood there in size 9 six inch stilettos with a tight garter belt. The translucent black material over his legs made him itch and he swore he'd get Carlos back for this. The fishnet laced gloves weren't half bad except he felt way to girly in them as well. The tight apron that wrapped over the black maid dress might as well been attached to his body as tied down as it was. He walked awkwardly and yet surprisingly easy in the outrageous outfit and stood in front of the coffee table. His face turning beat red. He bowed half curtsied. "Greetings..Sirs, what can..I do for..you?" He had to force the words out as he said them; he refused to make eye-contact.

There were a few snickers, but the three tormentors kept their composure. Kendall raised his hand smugly and replied. "I'll have lemonade."

"I'll have parfait!" Logan added in trying to hold back a laugh that could break the sound barrier. James looked up for the first time looking at Carlos.

"And for you Master?" James said rolling his eyes to the side lightly. Carlos shifted lightly, a light line of blush appeared over his face. James caught it and grinned internally, maybe he could back at them after all. "Master?" James repeated with a little more enthusiasm.

"Uh oh um, I'll have what Logan's having." Carlos stuttered. He watched James curtsy, and to the surprise of every male on that couch James came back with a silver tray balanced in his hand, with two parfaits with cherries on the top and a lemonade. James placed the tray down lightly.

"Anything else sirs?" All three boys stared dumbly at what they had ordered. Kendall snapped out of it and took the lemonade.

Logan seemed to follow suit but his hand stopped on the glass and then he smirked. "Uh maid could you feed me my parfait." He knew James would explode, James didn't handle humiliation well, he was too much of a pretty boy for that. James hid his cringe and bent down picking up the parfait glass and the dessert spoon, he spooned the cherry and some of the ice cream onto the small spoon, crossed over to where Logan was and bent down smiling smugly to himself. Logan warily, and almost astonished opened his mouth as James fed him a few spoon full's. He wasn't the only ones astonished, heck Kendall almost wished he had ordered a parfait. Logan finally took the glass from James. 'That will be enough now," He said with what little composure he had left as his face turned red. Carlos on the other hand had already eaten his in a desperate attempt to cool himself off. James turned to him and frowned, no, no he pouted and damn it was cute too.

James crossed over and with his thumb and forefinger wiped left over ice cream from Carlos's face. Carlos might as well have black out there as his face went from shocked to daze. Kendall smirked lightly finding this all to amusing all the sudden. But that didn't last.

"Master here let me help with that." James said softly and he bend over Kendall and took the glass his fingers enveloping Kendall's as he tilted the glass to his own lips and drank from it, then he tilted it down and used his free hand to use his thumb to pull on Kendall's lower lip and placed the lemonade glass rim to Kendall's lip. Kendall drank he had finally lost his composure. The three's boy's jumped as a cooking timer shook and James quickly pulled away clanking the glass down and seemingly swinging his hips all the way to the bathroom. Five minutes later and regular old tight fitting jeans James swaggered out and grabbed Logan's left over parfait sitting down and spooning it into his mouth.

Kendall, Logan and Carlos was speechless as they stared at their seemingly feminine friend. James looked up from his ice cream and shrugged. "I watch too many cartoons."


	2. Author Note

So on further inspection, I am going to do what I call Chapter Drabbles. They are basically one-shot sized Chapters full of angst, love, laughter, all the works in one chapter worth, they may go with the story, and they may not, it all depends on you. So you've witnessed my first Chapter, with Maid James, so now what shall I do? What are your ideas, and your requests, I will do my best to update. And maybe we will even play a bit of truth or dare with James and the gang. What will happen next? James in another outfit and Kendall mistakes him as a girl and kisses him? There are endless possibilities.


	3. Not exactly a Lap Dance

Either James had really bad luck or he just didn't have the skill to understand when to stop betting with his band mates, it was most likely the latter. James stood rather dejectedly in front of the coffee table. Kendall, Carlos, and Logan were outside in the hall playing rock paper scissors for James new punishment which he was of yet to find out about. When he heard a dejected screech of defeat he knew Carlos had lost. Then a few moments later Kendall sauntered in while Carlos and Logan protested as he slammed the door in their faces. "So now what, betting on who gets my soul or something?' James put his hands on his hips angrily. Kendall smirked.

"Actually know it was who got a lap dance." James face fell as his mouth dropped open.

"You're not serious are you?' He squeaked.

"Don't worry, your clothes will still be on" Kendall plopped down on the couch. James swayed back and forth and nearly ran for the door but he knew Carlos and Logan would just stop him and throw him back inside. He sighed lightly to himself and then came over hesitantly. Kendall just seemed uberly amused and he wanted to attack him right then and there but he managed to keep his mind in check. "You coming or do you want Carlitos to fix this problem?' James knew Carlos would tie him to some tree and do something horrible to his hair so he figured this couldn't be much worse. He bit his lip and stuffed down his complaints as he nervously straddled Kendall's waist. Kendall on the other hand was now becoming the nervous wreck. He didn't' really expect James to comply, but then again James didn't like to be humiliated.

Carlos's idea was to tie James to a tree. Logan's idea had been to make him look like a cat and then drag him to something called Otaku Con. "D-do I have to do this?" James voice squeaked again, just sitting there made him feel ungodly uncomfortable. Kendall seemed to make a weak nod and then brought his arms around James's waist yanking him closer. Both gasped and James fell back as Kendall's arms came away from him. He tumbled off his head hitting the coffee table. He moaned rubbing his head.

"You could have just bashed my head earlier, and then we wouldn't have had this problem." Kendall then started laughing hysterically and James blinked wondering what he laughing was for. Then he turned seeing that Logan and Carlos had stumbled through the door and now was laying flat on their faces. Carlos was the first to sit up and his Latino face was as red as a tomato. James made a face and looked at the two.

"I moaned cause I hit my head!"


	4. Monopoly?

That was it; James knew he had to stop. He was apparently going to have to quit playing card games and losing. The fact that he had lost three in a row, and not only that but now had to do something else was beginning to ride on his nerves. He should have learned by now that he was a complete idiot, but it was James after all.

He paced around the apartment until he saw Kendall walk in.

"How come you always win?" James complained feeling the back of his head still feeling the bump from the coffee table. Kendall just shut the apartment door and when the lock fell into place you could hear the disgruntled yells from outside. "Kendall…"

On the other side of the door Carlos and Logan had their ears pressed so close to the door they might has well been part of it. They could hear James's voice protesting about something then he seemed to shut up, which was rare for even him to do. Logan and Carlos looked at each other and the tried prying open the door with failure. Carlos couldn't break it open because his helmet happened to be inside the apartment today.

Then came a crashing sound and both jumped back for a second then couldn't help but be even more desperate to hear what was going on. Then they heard James speaking again. "K-Kendall d-don't." Then he screamed and both of them were kicking at the door and trying to get in when it suddenly flew open and the fell on top of each other.

Logan sat up seeing James wailing over a monopoly board and Kendall was holding a stack of money. "What?" He asked looking at both of them. They looked at each other and then the other two.

"We thought…" Logan blinked and just shook his head. "Never mind" Logan just crawled over to the board dejectedly and Carlos stayed where he was looking at the ceiling mumbling.

Kendall sat back down and looked at James who now seemed quite miffed. "You shouldn't have rolled doubles."

"Oh shut up you know I am bad at games."

**Sorry it couldn't be what you wanted but I am not one to type things to horrible on FANFICTION, sides I'd get in trouble, however if you want something a little more you can always message me. **


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